If you have insomnia or sleep pattern issues, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I read an article not to long ago about Puscifer bandmates different creative processes. Where one could create on demand and for another it takes some inspiration. I’m a little all over the place, especially once being in the sign industry. Making signs is more about creating readable signage than mind blowing art. Also writing and visual art works tend to shift for me in periods.

These periods tend to coincide with things going on in my life and what I like to call my personality. I think the DSM has a bunch of labels for my personality. Fuck the DSM if you’ve ever had a label hung around your neck. Embrace it, feel it, and move the fuck on with life the best you can. I’ve seen a lot of people in my days who can not do that. So with my insomnia driven by stress and loss I have learned to adapt to it and embrace I don’t operate 9 to 5 all the time. Furthermore these periods churn up the creative visions and inspirations that drive me as an artist and writer.

Now a little bit about this series of photos. I was up late night, early morning, stuck in a routine of driving and getting by and just sucking up the suck of life. I have been working on breaking through an anxious fear of driving late nights to roll with the punches of insomnia. The insomnia driven by stress in paying the bills and the anxiety driven by PTSD and CPTSD. I’m in deep debt, Photography is not cheap and I have yet to find patrons to help support the effort like the Medicis of the renaissance period. Oh yeah that tid bit of history, this blog post, this website, design and photo editing also cost $50k in education I’ve yet to pay for. Buy my stuff please!

Anyway moving on. Then a little reminder I set for myself alerted me to the Full Moon at 3 AM. The night had sporadic storms cast from Hurricane Kay off Baja California, so it was questionable if I could get a picture of the moon. By Sunrise I decided to charge up the batteries for my camera and set out with the intention of getting a full moon setting behind the cityscape of Phoenix.

Well I jumped in my car setting off for a position east of the city on McDowell Road at Papago Park. The way life goes, it went with a detour at my planned exit on 52nd Street. I thought maybe I could accomplish the photo from the Mill Avenue bridge in Tempe just like in my Harvest Moon photos from last year. But looking at the position of the moon I was off a good 20 degrees. I was losing time as the moon setting was growing larger. I made a U-Turn on Priest heading up to McDowell to my spot by the old stairs in Papago Park.

The moon quickly was obscured behind the distant clouds on the horizon. I still had some photos to take despite what life was throwing my way. It was a chance to get some clear shots after the rain cleared the sky of the usually hazy atmosphere. Then the sun started to rise kissing the cityscape from the tips of the sky scrappers and slowly working its way down their facades.

I knew I only had a few minutes to turn around for sunrise. It was better than imagined. The moisture with the sun created a dramatic warm glow through the cool clouds and fog pushing through the canyons between mountain ranges. These stair cases were made with the intention of communing with God, the Creator, the spirit of the universe, nature on Sundays.

I set up for panoramas knowing the best way to capture it might require a different lens, but also knew I could take several frames stacking them to bring out the best dynamic range and stitching them together for the epic view. It was a race against the sun rising and a large group of runners gathering at the base of the stairs. My intention was to create two halves with a top pano being the horizon and the bottom half featuring the stairs.

I was able to get a couple perspectives of the horizon, but capturing the stairs in the bottom half was thwarted by the local population exerting their right to be there too. Despite this nuisance to my creative process I soaked up the sun warmly illuminating the deep layers of the mountain ranges through the clouds and fog.

I included closer cropped images to show the details in the main panoramic photo. These images are meant for large walls for people to spend time finding all the little subtle nuances in the larger picture. Much like life, if you focus too much on the bigger picture you miss the tiny things that bring it all together. And if you focus too much on one tiny detail in life like the flaw of a human figure stretched and distorted you miss the whole point of communing with things greater than our understanding.

Muse Dream

There you are in a dream

The subconscious love affair

Your rejection didn’t seem real 

Until deep in sleep

How does anyone continue? 

A traitorous fantasy

Paralyzed in a vulnerable juxtapose

My own mind betrays me 

Or something like that. So what that means is I am replacing the woo commerce plug-in for a shop hosted by Fine Art America. The cool part of this is you can order prints of various sizes on canvas and different substrates. How would you like to cuddle with a Gila Monster at night in a duvet cover?

I think for longevity going with a larger website will help with visibility and maybe even start the revenue stream I’ve been striving for to replace my day job with full-time photography. How cool would that be?

It’s going to be a slow process getting the images up, but eventually I will be posting the best of my most recent work.

Appreciate you stopping by to click through them!

A Sky Island is a unique feature in the desert where a mountain and it’s elevation creates a separate environment from the surrounding areas. The Pinaleños and Mount Graham were originally called Dził Nchaa Si’an by the Apache and is considered one of their holiest places. It was also part of the San Carlos Reservation until a presidential executive order in 1873 took it back and is now controlled by the U.S. government and the University of Arizona.

I do appreciate being able to visit these marvels. Personally I believe this mountain still belongs to the Apache people and our government should consider giving back the national parks to natives across both continents. Please consider donating to the NDN Collective

Here's a related article to read in the Atlantic on the Land Back movement. RETURN THE NATIONAL PARKS TO THE TRIBES

Dził Nchaa Si’an is one unique Sky Island in the middle of the Sonoran desert of Arizona. My girlfriend Karla and I decided to get out of the record breaking heat in Phoenix to the mild ponderosa pine covered alpines. It was our first visit and took us about four hours to drive, most of which was just getting to the base of Mt. Graham.

As we climbed out of the scorching desert heat along the switchbacks of Arizona Route 366, we watched the dashboard thermostat drop rapidly and the elevation markers increase at the same rate. 100 degrees at 3000 feet, 90 degrees at 6000, 80 degrees at 7000, 70 degrees at 9000. All along the scenery changing from mesquites, cholla, and blooming yuccas to ponderosa, lush ferns, and aspen.

A friend of Karla’s mentioned staying at Shannon Campground as a kid, so we set our Google Maps destination to check it out. It’s a cul-de-sac essentially of about 10 camping spots in a valley surrounded with pines, wildflowers, abundant berry bushes and a small creek. At the end of the cul-de-sac is the heliograph trailhead.

Shannon campground has several spots in a narrow valley with a couple streams, one of which is dry. Our campground host introduced himself and warned us of a black bear he saw earlier in the day even showing me the video of the black bear retreating down a rocky slope into the valley. Our first evening he was kind enough to walk with us a few hundred meters down the Heliograph trail to a point where the black bear was in the morning. We talked a little bit about the berries, trees, and some of the settlers version of the history before heading back to our campsite. He made a point to mention it was the settlers history.

I took the initiative to look further into some of the Apache history and importance of the mountain range. One of the things in my early education that was missing was the nexus of settlers and natives other than the white washed version of Lewis and Clark. Arizona was first explored by Conquistadors and was apart of Mexico before the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo in 1848 where manifest destiny was actualized.

Our camp host told us the Albert squirrel was introduced for hunting purposes which had an adverse effect on the native red squirrel, which found refuge in the peaks of the mountain range until fires destroyed their habitat. Our host told us that hired assassins are removing the Albert squirrel. As you can see in the picture this little guy is quite diabolical with their plans to destroy the red squirrel and dominate Dził Nchaa Si’an. Sounds like a familiar narrative… They are pretty cool looking squirrels and I can see how they might make a nice little kabob. This was just one of many natural conservation errors made in America though.

One of the reasons I like to go into the mountains is to find peace from this world. As interconnected as we are in the city of Phoenix it’s nice to get away from the chaos. I set the hammock up for Karla and spent sometime meditating and watching a different kind of world. A world that was created without our help and will continue to exist many years after we are gone. Aspens shimmering leaves in the sunlight. Strange bird calls echoing in the canyons. Bears anxiously foraging for berries still blossoming and being pollenated by the bees. Listening to the wind squeezed through the arrangement of trees as if trying to speak to the visitors who have come from below.

The evening was peaceful and the temperatures cooled as we laid in bed trying to get a glimpse of the stars. We left the rainfly off the tent to look at the stars, but clouds and the moonlight kept the stars from shining at their brightest. Karla went to sleep as I laid there thinking about the bear and listening to something up hill breaking twigs and making strange noises.

The next morning we woke up and decided to travel further on Rt. 366 towards Riggs Flat Lake. The paved road turns to a grated dirt mountain road with steep cliffs shortly after Shannon Campground. The view is surreal of the desert below from the interior of the Sky Island. The road is lined with ferns and saplings where fire had burned the old growth. There is great relief looking down on a desert with searing heat from a mountain road with a gentle cool wind as if standing on a top of a towering monsoon cloud.

The road seems to wind along into an infinite forest. Along the way we pass some roads leading to the observatories blocked off from the public. It’s kind of a disappointment they are not open to the public, but they are also home to the Mt. Graham Red Squirrel, which are a protected species now.

There are a few monuments to the settlers along the road, one of which is Peter’s Flat. The Scotsman worked with loggers and grew potatoes covering them with ferns.

Across the dirt road was a nice primitive campsite too with a short walk to a beautiful western view. I wouldn’t mind camping there as I carry an E-tool (foldable shovel) to do my business, but Karla would prefer at the least on outhouse to do her business. We did get by on baby wipes for showers!

We continued our journey to Riggs Flat Lake a small lake created for watering cattle and damned in 1957 by Arizona Game and Fish for recreational fishing. The pines were clouding the air with pollen as you can see how it collects and washes ashore like uranium yellow cake.

We walked around the lake which is about a mile or so. Families were fishing and picnicking along the shore. Some even brought a boat with electric trolling motors. I think our next visit we will stay there to try and get some Milky Way pictures mirrored off the lake. Maybe even try a little trout fishing.

The most impressive display of beauty are the Arizona State butterfly the Two Tailed Swallows Butterfly floating around the entire preserve. I even happened to catch the trio below sunbathing on Riggs Flat lake shore line. What was even a little more special was seeing so many Sand Dune Wallflowers. I just found a few of them for the first time on Four Peaks. Dził Nchaa Si’an has abundant mountain flowers, but these tended to literally stand above the rest. Finding them with the Two Tailed Swallow Butterfly was about as picturesque as it gets.

I didn’t plan on writing so much about the trip, because I feel like there is so much more to learn about Dził Nchaa Si’an. It’s one thing to enjoy the nature naively and another to have a better understanding of what is there now, where it came from, and perhaps have some influence on preserving it’s future for others to enjoy and find the same peace.

It looks like the effort to submit photos to the Maricopa County Fair Resulted in some big wins. If you read the blog previous to this one, you would know I was feeling mentally challenged on how the photography business is going. I took a risk and put some money into a printer and used the Maricopa County Fair as a good excuse. It’s the first exhibit I’ve been in since…I guess 15 years when I was still painting. And with all the photos I had hanging up it seemed like a quaint show featuring my work. Not to spend too much time bragging about it, here’s a slideshow featuring the winners.

I have not been very successful so far selling my work and recognize the need for change if I ever want to quit my day job. Recently I have been looking into NFTs as a way to make millions. Yeah right huh? Well who knows? I know the Bored Ape series was probably like winning the lottery for it’s creator, but maybe it will be like winning many small scratchers for me.

NFTs

NFT is an acronym for Non-Fungible token. It’s pretty new thing some people have gotten rich like I mentioned. After looking into it further, it’s a little more money than I can afford to risk minting with crypto currency. But I can at least create the NFT as a certificate of authenticity, which is what a NFT can be. There’s some talk that since it involves crypto currency that enables bad actors in the black market. Personal opinion, anywhere there is money to be made you will find those people. Also I can see how this might disturb some artists as it breaks from their norms, which one person said I would lose respect as an artist. Like I said I’m having difficulty at finding success and this is a new avenue. If I am swimming in bit coins like Scrooge McDuck I’m not going to care about other people’s opinions. Especially since I don’t matter to them now.

Fine Art America

Fine Art America is another avenue I wanted to work on in the past, but wasn’t sure if it was worth the effort. I even went to the trouble of creating my own shop and uploading hundreds of images to stock photo sites to make a buck. I’ve yet to make a dime from my own shop. The stock photos just are not selling for a good price nor have I made enough to even collect a check. What I like about Fine Art America is they do all the printing and can place images on products like a coffee cup. Which allows me to focus more time on taking pictures and marketing. Click the image below to see my profile on Fine Art America.

Art Fairs

Last I am working on getting on the scene and working Art Fairs. One of the most popular is First Fridays in Phoenix, which I have a pending application. They are requesting handmade art and what not, so not sure if I will pass. Otherwise I have been working on local Art Fairs like Tempe Festival of the Arts and smaller operations.

Conclusion

There’s gotta be a way. When I first started this, it was out of haste with not much planning. I thought if I built something people would visit the website and eventually things would fall into place. Then Covid hit, it hit me hard with the approach I was taking driving people and things around for a living. Mentally not sure I was going to make it through. I kinda feel like I am on mule, but thinking it’s a horse. I give it a gitty-up and it won’t move. Now I’m getting off my horse and leading it on foot.

Finally pulled the trigger and got my own printer. I was looking into getting a booth and researching fairs when the Maricopa County Fair caught my attention. Funny thing, it happened when I was trying to avoid traffic and pulled into the 17th Ave entrance. But it inspired me to get the printer I was eyeballing and get the ball rolling on future plans. Below are the images I submitted. I am offering 8″ x 10″ prints glossy or luster for now and if really interested I can print up to 13″ x 19″ for little more $$$.

Click on the photos to purchase prints

Check out this years Maricopa County Fair 2022 to see in person and save $10 on the purchase.

SOOO the title says it all I finally was able to drive to 4 Peaks all the way. Well rode actually as a passenger in Karla’s, my girlfriend, FJ Cruiser in 4WD. Her having a vehicle that can explore Arizona was definitely a factor in us getting together when we met. We almost didn’t go to 4 Peaks with life and all. It’s easy to make excuses to just stay home, but we got up Sunday morning and I asked if she was ready to go and away we went.

The second attempt I posted on my Behance page titled 4 Peaks 2nd Attempt. It was thwarted by what looked like a riverbed or rocks that had washed over the road during monsoon season. My little Mitsubishi Outlander had the clearance, but not the transmission to deal with such rugged terrain. So I had to turn around. It has since been cleared by a grater.

This was before the Bush Fire burned the area up. The pictures above are the before and after. The Tonto National Forest can be very green when we get rain. Unfortunately in 2020 a car fire on State Highway 87 burned the area up from the 87 to parts of the chain of reservoirs south of Roosevelt Lake. It could have happened naturally from lightning during a monsoon anyway, so just something that was bound to happen. Below are a couple pictures of why. During the 1930’s people used Buffelgrass as cattle feed. Pretty ain’t it?

Well enough crying about the past. Karla, Squeakers, our dog, and I roared up Highway 87 on the crisp March morning to the 4 Peaks Wilderness area just past the Bush Highway. We passed a trailer full of ATV’s entering the area. Before we got there I mentioned there are two paths. One would take us east into the lowlands for some 4×4 fun and the other would take us to 4 Peaks. She chose to go up 4 Peaks. We got in about a mile to find an abandoned campfire still smoldering. We stopped so I could throw some water and dirt on it just in case.

Folks if you are reading this and thinking about going camping up there please be mindful. Leaving something like that behind could destroy an ecosystem that exists no where else in the world. Not to mention hurt people that go deep on the trail if another brush fire was caused from it. In this case it almost wiped out the communities of west of Apache Lake.

One of the first pictures I stopped to take was of a Sugar Bush and the landscape looking back. For anyone feeling bereft this should give you hope life is coming back.

We also saw plenty of wild flowers along the way with lupine, poppies, and Dakota Verbena lining the trail up the mountain and down.

We stopped a few times to take pictures and relieve ourselves along the way up the mountain. It was nice just pausing to soak up the landscape with the sun warming our bodies and breathing in the light crisp air blowing softly through the valleys and draws. Squeakers was loving it too. We thought we got a Tea Cup Chihuahua. He has since proven to be more of a Rat Terrier. Not a dog that rides around in a purse. Here’s a few pictures we coaxed out of him running through the dead wood.

The best part of the trip was riding with Karla to 4 Peaks all the way. The journey may have took a few hours but it’s during those moments together time ceases to exist. A couple people and their dog in bubble of reality far removed from the rigmarole of life experiencing a world less than a hundred miles away that might as well be on a different planet. These are the things we live for, bonding in a deeper more meaningful relationship.

We reached the end of the trail that had a couple spots for camping and a little further down an area to park for hiking. This view almost looks fake, but I assure you that you can pitch a tent and meditate on it for as long as National Park Service will let you. Which I think is about two weeks, might want to do your research before planning.

And finally my favorite picture. A Sanddune Wallflower growing along a grated small ridge of sandy gravel off the side of the road. This was the first time seeing these flowers and my mind was thinking what a wonderful shot it would be to get a close-up with the snow covered mountains in the background.

We finished up with lunch at Butcher Hook, a roadside diner along Route 188. In our quick planning we forgot to pack a lunch and snacks, so this was a welcomed meal after a few hours on the dusty trail. I also was not doing my best thinking and forgot to take a picture of the restaurant and my debit card. The food was awesome!

Every so often I get this urge to say, “Fuck it”. Fuck the daily grind, fuck the city, fuck my cat, fuck this and fuck that. It hasn’t always worked out for the best. I don’t have fuck you money, so it’s a short lived experience. Also I have carried this attitude too far in life several times. The epitome of an alcoholic, depressive, worn down, beat up soul. Sometimes it’s a good thing. Art is made. Poetry is written. The soul is cleansed and I am ready to stare life in the eyes again. Ready to say, “Bring it on motherfuckers!”

I recently upgraded my equipment with a new zoom lens to get better photos of birds, lizards, and even some cityscape. It’s a great feeling to know if I do everything right on my end the wildlife might cooperate long enough to get some pretty cool photos.

Heck even when I am off on my settings some good things still happen. Like these images of a Ash Throated Fly Catcher. The first one is motion blur from when it took off from it’s perch and the following is when I believe the same one put on a little display of it’s prowess as an agile bug catcher. It was a cool experience at the end of a long hike along the Salt River. This little guy was hanging out in a field of plants frequented by butterflies. I tried to get a photo of it in a bush and as it flew away and I turned to walk back to my car, it perched along the fence rail. I got a few photos and again as I was about to walk away it swooped down for what looks like the biggest horsefly I have ever seen. The photos turned out pretty cool with the Canon RP’s internal stability adjusting for my camera shake and bokeh from the 150-600mm F5-6.3 DG OS HSM | C

One of the main reasons I got a big zoom lens was to get better bird pictures. I found a nesting area of Northern Phainopepla, which look similar to Cardinals with their spikey crest. Cardinals are in the area too, but it seems a brush clearing project may have scared some of them off. The Phainopepla are fun to take pictures of as they respond to a whistle. I heard one and gave a short whistle to the best of my ability to mimic theirs and the whole tree line started sounding off.

Of course one of the main attractions along the Salt River are the Wild Horses that roam the desert valley. Most of them don’t care for us humans, although they are quite tolerant. I do my best to respect their space, but sometimes it’s tough to avoid crossing paths. As I was walking the trail a small herd and I were surprised to meet rounding a corner. I wasn’t sure how they would react, but it was a mutual decision to make room for each other. As I tried moving behind a large tree, so they could get by they didn’t budge. They could still see my shadow I figured and moved out in the open. The lead horse took a path on the other side of the tree and the heard followed with the white horse taking the rear.

To end my hike was the Ash Throated Fly Catcher swinging by for one more picture. What a ham! I’m not sure, but this might be the same one that caught the bug and ate it on the fence railing.